Reader matter:

I became introduced to a female who’d not too long ago kept her ex for abusive factors, and she had simply learned she ended up being expecting. Situations worked until prior to the baby had been due, and even though I had established work and was about buying somewhere the three people, she started willing to try to provide the newborns father an additional possibility.

She’s since apologized for any way she acted. This lady has been consistently inquiring when she will see me once more, and that I have actually informed her that I will usually love her and cannot wait to meet up the daughter she has.

Everything I need to find out is exactly how to allow her to understand that we care without working this lady off?

-Love Sick B. (Louisiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Oh, man. Mr. love-sick, you are in a hard place. You might be dealing with a postpartum mom (read: running on unpredictable bodily hormones) which however harbors fantasies of a conventional family members along with her abusive baby daddy.

My advice is to be a friend with boundaries to the girl. Tell their clearly what you want the relationship become, and do not let her enable you to get on a slippery mountain in which the center will get broken again.

Regardless, brand-new moms need some help and support. End up being a platonic pal. Show their you proper care by working errands or getting meals on her. But try not to try to let relationship creep in until the baby is actually older, the woman old commitment is far more satisfied, and you’re clear in what you desire.

No counseling or therapy information: The Site does not supply psychotherapy advice. The Site is supposed mainly for use by consumers in search of common details of great interest with respect to issues individuals may face as individuals and also in interactions and associated subject areas. Content material just isn’t intended to replace or serve as replacement for professional assessment or solution. Contained observations and opinions really should not be misconstrued as particular counseling advice.